Monday, October 17, 2022
It
seems we have come to the end of our almost two-year journey exploring all the
bible verses that contain the words fear or afraid. Throughout this journey we
have discovered that there are many types of fear some good (Holy) and some not
so good (servile). Yet, along the way hopefully we have discovered the ultimate
will of God is that we have peace, faith, hope and love. Acknowledging this to
finish out this journey we will be focusing our research on the New Testament
verses that expound on the fruit of a life lived in grace trusting in our Holy
God.
For everything there is a season, and a time for every
matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and
a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time
to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a
time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to
gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from
embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to
cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a
time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for
peace.[1]
OCTOBER 17 Monday
FORGIVE
AN EX DAY
John 14, verse 27
PEACE
I leave with you; my peace I give to
you. Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Do not let your hearts be
troubled or afraid.
It
is important to note that Christ gave
His peace in this verse to His
apostles just before the betrayal of Judas. Fear has no place in the hearts of
believers. Likewise, all our fear and distress as people awaiting His return must give way to the peace that is Christ’s gift. We now must face the conflict with the Prince
of this world by keeping that peace in a troubled world. Christ by His death
demonstrated God’s commandment of total love.
For
those whose faith is struggling in light of the Priest Scandal receive the
peace of Christ and believe He will get the boat ashore even with a Judas aboard.
-Peace
EXHORTATION TO MEET TOGETHER
FREQUENTLY FOR THE WORSHIP OF GOD[2]
Take heed, then, often to come together to give thanks to God, and show forth His praise. For when ye assemble frequently in the same place, the powers of Satan are destroyed, and the destruction at which he aims is prevented by the unity of your faith. Nothing is more precious than peace, by which all war, both in heaven and earth, is brought to an end.
Take heed, then, often to come
together to give thanks to God, and show forth His praise. For when ye come
frequently together in the same place, the powers of Satan are destroyed, and
his "fiery darts" urging to sin fall back ineffectual. For your
concord and harmonious faith prove his destruction, and the torment of his assistants.
Nothing is better than that peace, which is according to Christ, by which all
war, both of aërial and terrestrial spirits, is brought to an end. "For we
wrestle not against blood and flesh, but against principalities and powers, and
against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness
in heavenly places." St.
Ignatius of Antioch
Forgive an EX Day[3]
Forgiving does not erase the bitter
past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we
cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past
into a hope for our future. Lewis B. Smedes
Forgiveness is a conscious
act and for those who have been hurt by others, it can be hard when you know
the scars left behind. Relationships can be emotionally intense, filled with
history and memories, and can impact your life without you even realizing it.
When relationships fall apart, they can hurt, and the pain can last forever.
International Forgive an Ex Day is all about taking the time to reflect on your
own pain and move forward by forgiving the actions of others. International
Forgive an Ex Day provides insight into pain and relationships. This holiday is
all about finding the insight you need to move past the mental trauma of a
broken relationship, no matter how long it lasted. Typically, during this
holiday, participants take an active choice to seek advice about forgiveness,
whether that be going to a friend or seeing a counselor. Knowing that the path
to healing can be long and hard, this holiday can be used as a start towards
forgiveness or as a final conclusion towards forgiving your ex-lover. From
there, after making the effort to forgive your ex, it is up to the individual
to choose how to move forward from there. This holiday challenges you over how
you perceive people in life and encourages people all over the world to start
the path to forgiveness. It’s
all about self-reflection and healing, so whether you can find the courage and
peace of mind to forgive your ex-lover can take time. This is also a time to
help others forgive their ex’s
by giving them advice about forgiveness.
How to celebrate International Forgive an Ex Day
If you want to celebrate
this holiday, then take the chance to talk to your ex to see how they are
doing. If you’re
not ready to speak with them, take the time to examine yourself and your
position in life. In the meanwhile, speak with a counselor about this path to
forgiveness and find advice from all sources, from friends and family to
professional help. Share this holiday with your friends and family on your
favorite social media websites using the hashtag #internationalforgiveanexday
and see if this holiday can help others share their experiences about their ex’s and help them forgive the past.
Does Divorced mean EX Catholic?[4]
The
institution of marriage is in trouble today. The divorce rate is anywhere from
50 percent for first marriages to 80 percent for subsequent marriages. Perhaps,
as a result, more and more couples are choosing to live together without
bothering to get married.
The
Church—the institution as well as the individuals—needs to minister to the
millions of divorced Catholics by both changing ingrained attitudes and
reaching out in love. Yes, the Church is and should be pro-marriage, but, like
its Lord, it must also love and support those whose marriages have failed. It’s
a fine line to walk, but it is necessary.
As
the survivor of divorce after 30 years of marriage, I know there needs to be a
healthier dialogue within the Catholic Church between those who have never
divorced (including our clergy) and those who have. Here are seven things you
may not know about divorce:
1. Non-divorced Catholics often come
across as judgmental of the divorced. Perhaps they don’t mean to. But there is
a definite, although largely unconscious, attitude in the Church that the
divorced are less spiritual, less committed to marriage and/or less forgiving
than the long-term married. Non-divorced Catholics need to be careful of
assumptions, to discard any trace of judgment toward the divorced. Since I have
“been there, done that” when it comes to being judgmental, I can address this
issue personally. It is too easy for those who have never experienced the
desperation and sorrow of a failed marriage to believe that “they could have
done something to save it.” Let me assure you, the divorced Catholics I know
(including myself) are spiritual, forgiving people who are committed to family
and to the institution of marriage. And they did all they could to save their
marriages. It is time for all of us in the Church to stop judging the divorced.
2. Not every marriage was ‘joined by
God’ even if it took place in a church. This may seem like a rationalization,
but Jesus’ statement in Matthew 19:6 (“Therefore, what God has joined together,
no human being must separate”) does not apply to all marriages. Many of us,
looking back, realize that God was simply not a part of our decision to marry.
In my case, I never asked God, never gave God the chance to stop my headlong
(and headstrong) determination to get married. And God was trying to get my
attention. There were real problems. My intended was heading to a war zone for
a year, and friends and family counseled me to wait. But I would not listen. We
have all attended enough weddings to recall what the priest or deacon always
asks a couple at the beginning of the marriage ceremony: “Do you come here
freely and without reservation?” For most of us divorced Catholics, the answer
to that question, if we had been truthful, was “no.” How can anyone claim that
a particular marriage was “joined by God” if that was not the intention of the
parties getting married?
3.
The
divorced do not have to justify themselves. Even if a divorcing/divorced person
is very close to you, you do not know what really happened. Therefore, you
should refrain from making comments or asking prying questions. Perhaps we
divorced Catholics are overly sensitive, but certain statements and inquiries
are like rubbing salt into a very sore wound. I have been asked, “Did you try
counseling or Retrouvaille?” as though I would smack my head and say, “Gee, why
didn’t I think of that?” Yes, I tried everything I could think of. “Why can’t
you just forgive him?” is another gem, to which I answer that forgiveness is not
the same as a pardon. People have commented, “But you seemed like such a happy
couple.” That’s what we wanted you to think; that’s what we wanted to believe. The
bottom line is this: Such questions and comments just hurt, and they are
unfair. If a divorcing/divorced person does not want to confide in you, do not
prod him/her to tell you what happened. Just love that person. And give him/her
the benefit of the doubt that he/she tried everything to make the marriage
work. There are a variety of reasons why marriages fail. The “big three” most
of us think of are adultery, addiction and abuse, but the real reason behind
most failed marriages is simple indifference, often on the part of one spouse.
There is no way a husband or wife can save a marriage single-handedly. When a
marriage fails, no amount of effort, enabling or denial will save it. It
is wrong to ask for details before you support your divorced friend, family
member or parishioner. People should not have to justify their actions before
they are loved for who they are.
4. Divorce has changed my life for the
better. Many other divorced Catholics can say the same. Divorce has released me
spiritually, mentally and emotionally to become the person God created me to
be. I have been able to move on to a life that is fuller, happier and more
creative. The most important change is this: My relationship with God is better
today than it ever has been. When I was freed from an impossible, dysfunctional
marriage, my relationship with God blossomed. I had some initial worries about
my spiritual status when I began the process, but God quickly reassured and
comforted me as I went through and beyond my divorce. The psychological
counseling and spiritual direction I received during my divorce made me a
healthier person than I ever was before. I have worked through the deep
problems caused by my dysfunctional childhood. I have faced and forgiven
everyone who helped shape my early years in negative ways. And I understand and
embrace my individuality. Yes, divorce was a painful passage to go through, but
I am a better person today because of it.
5. I don’t need to marry again to be
happy. I get a lot of comments, concern and advice about finding someone when
people learn I have been divorced for eight years. I really am happy as a
single person, and not at all lonely or bitter about the past because I choose
to remain single. I understood right from the beginning of my new life as a
single person that, in order to be happy in a new relationship, I would have to
be happy just being me and being single. My attitude now is, “If it happens, it
happens.” In the meantime, please accept that I am fine as a single person. And
for goodness’ sake: Don’t try to fix me up with anyone!
6. I hope my divorce makes you
question assumptions about your marriage. Does that shock you? It shouldn’t. It
means that I love you and I love the institution of marriage. But healthy
marriages don’t just happen. I was sure my marriage would never end. At the
same time, I was unaware of what makes a healthy marriage and very much in
denial about our problems. My marital problems went a lot deeper than most, but
every marriage needs constant care. And every marriage can use a tune-up now
and then: a few counseling sessions, a Marriage Encounter weekend or a retreat
together. Marriage takes a lot of work. I am delighted when friends and
co-workers tell me that watching what I went through eight years ago or hearing
me talk now about my divorce compelled them to take a second look at their own
marriages, strengthen what was weak and recommit themselves to the
relationship. The divorced have a great deal to teach the married about what a
good, healthy and Christian marriage really is.
7.
Every
marriage ends. The marriage covenant ends when this life ends. Jesus tells us
in Luke 20:34-35 that there is no marriage in heaven. Marriage is an earthly
institution with a heavenly purpose. Marriage is a training ground wherein we
cosmic youngsters learn about the love that has existed from all eternity
within the Holy Trinity. Its purpose is to train us to give up our selfish
tendencies, to care for another as we would care for ourselves, to take our
place in the Kingdom of God. Marriage is a foreshadowing of our eternal
relationship with God and with one another. Marriage is a wonderful thing, but
it is not a forever thing. Knowing and remembering that should deepen not only
the relationship with your earthly spouse, but also your love for your heavenly
spouse, Jesus. As a divorced Catholic, I have taken great comfort from the
story of Jesus’ encounter with the woman of Samaria at Jacob’s well (John
4:4-42). This poor woman had been married five times and was now living with
yet another man. That’s a lot of failed relationships—even by today’s
standards! Jesus’ tenderness toward her and his sympathy for her situation are
apparent. Did he deliberately go to that spot at that unlikely time of day
because he knew she would be drawing water then? Did he send the disciples away
to get lunch in the town, so he could talk to her alone? I don’t doubt it. Jesus
never spoke to this woman or any other hurting person in ways that increased
their pain. He offered this divorcée “living water,” himself, which was what
she had been searching for in all her relationships. It is time for the rest of
the Catholic Church to do the same.
Divorce and the Catholic Church
·
The
first thing Catholics should know is that divorce is not a sin that should
keep a divorced Catholic from receiving the sacraments. A divorced or separated
person is not excommunicated and is still a Catholic in good standing. The only
reason for excommunication after divorce is remarriage without going through
the annulment process.
·
Before
a divorced person can remarry in the Catholic Church, he or she must obtain an
annulment by a Catholic diocesan tribunal. Obtaining such a decree does not
mean that the marriage never took place; it is a determination that a
sacramental marriage did not take place.
·
This
does not mean that the children of that marriage are illegitimate or that the
couple was “living in sin.” It means that, in that particular case, the
marrying couple had little or no idea what Christian marriage was all about or
that there were deep problems from the beginning of the marriage, either in the
couple’s relationship or in their families of origin.
·
Therefore,
the Church may determine that it was impossible then for the couple to enter
into a truly Christian marriage. Divorced Catholics who are seeking an
annulment should talk to their pastors, who will direct them to the proper
contacts at their diocese.
The
annulment process can give divorced Catholics three gifts:
CLARITY, by helping them see the
why’s and how’s of their failed marriage in a new light.
HEALING, by allowing them to work
through their anger and guilt and come through to a better place spiritually
and emotionally.
TIME, by forcing the divorced
person to wait before making any more relationship decisions.
Recently
divorced people are especially vulnerable to needing companionship, support and
sympathy. The first person of the opposite sex who provides that is going to be
very attractive, but the newly divorced person does not need that kind of
complication in the healing process. The newly divorced person needs breathing
room after a marriage ends.
The
dismal divorce statistics after second and third marriages are proof that too
many divorced people simply don’t wait long enough to recover completely.
Taking part in the Catholic Church’s annulment process is one way to ensure
that a good healing process has begun. If a divorced Catholic does meet someone
he or she might want to marry, that person will not only have better tools for
discerning whether this is a good relationship but will also have the Church’s
blessing on a second marriage.
Catechism
of the Catholic Church
PART THREE: LIFE IN CHRIST
SECTION ONE-MAN'S VOCATION LIFE IN THE
SPIRIT
CHAPTER ONE THE DIGNITY OF THE HUMAN
PERSON
Article 2-OUR VOCATION TO BEATITUDE
Article 5-THE MORALITY OF THE
PASSIONS
II. Passions
and Moral Life
1767 In themselves passions are neither good nor evil. They are
morally qualified only to the extent that they effectively engage reason and
will. Passions are said to be voluntary, "either because they are
commanded by the will or because the will does not place obstacles in their
way." It belongs to the perfection of the moral or human good that
the passions be governed by reason.
1768 Strong feelings are not decisive for the morality or the
holiness of persons; they are simply the inexhaustible reservoir of images and
affections in which the moral life is expressed. Passions are morally good when
they contribute to a good action, evil in the opposite case. the upright will
orders the movements of the senses it appropriates to the good and to
beatitude; an evil will succumbs to disordered passions and exacerbates them.
Emotions and feelings can be taken up into the virtues or perverted by the
vices.
1769 In the Christian life, the Holy Spirit himself
accomplishes his work by mobilizing the whole being, with all its sorrows,
fears and sadness, as is visible in the Lord's agony and passion. In Christ
human feelings are able to reach their consummation in charity and divine
beatitude.
1770 Moral
perfection consists in man's being moved to the good not by his will alone, but
also by his sensitive appetite, as in the words of the psalm: "My heart
and flesh sing for joy to the living God."
Daily
Devotions
·
Unite in the work of the Porters of St. Joseph by joining them
in fasting: Today's Fast: Individuals
with Mental Illness
· Eat waffles
and Pray for the assistance of the Angels
·
Religion
in the Home for Preschool: October
·
Litany of the Most Precious
Blood of Jesus
·
Offering to
the sacred heart of Jesus
· Monday: Litany of
Humility
·
Rosary
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