Sirach, Chapter 19, Verse 10
Let anything you hear die with
you; never fear, it will not make you
burst!
Today might be a good day to make a silent retreat. Shut off the TV,
radio and try to obtain silence. In the modern world it is indeed difficult to
find silence and when we do we fidget because our mind is so addicted to
constant stimulation it drives us crazy and we fidget. Never fear you will not burst.
Silence: “Be still and know
that I am God.” (Ps. 46: 10)
Here
is an excerpt from Ask a Carmelite Sister…
Sins and Faults of the
Tongue: To Speak or not to Speak – That is the Question
Dear Sister,There is a lot of noise around me – constantly. So much chatter. It seems to me that conversations in general are getting more superficial. I’m reminded of the title of one Shakespeare’s plays. It seems to fit what I am trying to say – Much Ado about Nothing. What are your thoughts?
Dear Friend,
Ah! Much Ado about Nothing. Well said!
I hear a longing in your question – a longing for something deeper, restorative and spiritual. To fulfill this longing, we must all try, even though it is not so easy in today’s culture, to re-discover the healing power of silence. As Ecclesiastes says, “There is a time to be silent, and a time to speak.”
Each one of my Carmelite Sisters, including myself, is required to make an eight-day silent retreat yearly. When we first entered Carmel, silence was difficult for us. It was new. Many of us spend our first eight-day retreat simply meditating with growing astonishment that anyone could even keep quiet for eight full days, and how were we ever going to get through it? Of course, throughout the years, we have all come to love it.
During
one eight-day silent retreat, the retreat master, who happened to be Father
Thomas Dubay, SM, spoke about the opposite of silence. He concentrated on
speech, on WHAT we CHOOSE to say and WHEN we choose to say it.
I
still have my notes from that memorable eight-day retreat. Each point was an
eye-opener for me. You may find this helpful in your quest. So, here are
my notes from conferences given by Father Dubay, who divided the topic into two
sections:
Obvious Sins of the Tongue
Unrealized Faults of Speech
1.
Obvious Sins of the Tongue
“In
a multitude of words, sin is not lacking” (Proverbs 10:19).
·
Detraction
– speaking about another persons’ faults (that are true) without a good reason
(Sirach 21).
·
Calumny
– which is speaking about
a persons’ faults (that are not true).
·
Bickering
– speaking nasty or biting remarks
·
Nagging
– the constant complaining, scolding or urging about a fault even if it is
true; to find fault constantly (Proverbs 21:9).
·
Ego-centrism
– constantly referring to what I did, what I said, etc. Constantly
talking about ME
·
Breaking
confidences – for there are natural secrets that should not be
spread; people have a right to their reputation (Proverbs 11:13)
·
Dominating
a conversation to prove a point – and most of the time we are unaware we
are doing this.
·
Salacious
talks/jokes – which has to do with speaking impurely (Ephesians 5:3-4).
2. Unrealized Faults of
Speech
·
Talking can
be a big waste of time – when the
talking is empty and gossipy (Matt. 12:36)
·
Neglecting the
spiritual in our speaking with others –
which is the main business of our lives (Ps. 25:15; Eph. 1: Col. 3:12;
Eph. 5:18-20)
·
Dissipation
and draining of our psychic energies
– leaving us fatigued, distracted, and unable to do our tasks at hand
·
Bad example
– to our family, friends, co-workers, but especially to our children
·
Excessive
comfort-seeking through words – which
includes talking over and over again about one’s hurts
·
Excusing
ourselves – when we
should not
·
Vain
discussions – when our time
could be better spent (2 Tim. 2:16-17)
·
Meddling in
others’ affairs (2 Thess.
3:11-12)
How to Overcome Sins of the Tongue
1. Daily prayer.
2. Frequent
Confession and Holy Communion.
3. Pray for the
grace to recognize all of the sins of the tongue — some are obvious, some are
subtle.
4. Pray for the
grace to keep silent during discussion of a bad situation.
5. Pray for the
grace to keep silent during discussion of another person.
6. Just keep
silent.
RULE: NEVER pass
on derogatory or uncomplimentary information about anyone, unless the Word of
God has given you the specific authority and responsibility to do so, and the
person you are informing likewise has responsibility in the situation and a
need to know the information.
Of
course, the reason we have times of silence is so that we may turn our
conversation toward God. The silence we are speaking of is a prayerful,
expectant waiting silence. Our world has too much noise in it today, and
if we are really honest, each one of us could probably say that our hearts do
also. When we do speak, let us be more attentive to what we say, why we are
saying it, and how it affects others.
Thank
you for your question and until next time,
Sister
Laus Gloriae, O.C.D.[1]
In silence today listen to the Lord: May the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ enlighten the eyes of our
hearts, that we may know what is the hope that belongs to our call. (Eph.
1:18-19)
May the
Spirit of the LORD rushed upon you as it did David the King. (1Sm. 16:13)
Catechism
of the Catholic Church
IV. OFFENSES AGAINST THE
DIGNITY OF MARRIAGE
Divorce
2382 The Lord Jesus insisted
on the original intention of the Creator who willed that marriage be
indissoluble. He abrogates the accommodations that had slipped into the old
Law. Between the baptized, "a ratified and consummated marriage cannot be
dissolved by any human power or for any reason other than death."
2383 The separation of
spouses while maintaining the marriage bond can be legitimate in certain cases
provided for by canon law. If civil divorce remains the only possible way of
ensuring certain legal rights, the care of the children, or the protection of
inheritance, it can be tolerated and does not constitute a moral offense.
2384 Divorce is a grave
offense against the natural law. It claims to break the contract, to which the
spouses freely consented, to live with each other till death. Divorce does
injury to the covenant of salvation, of which sacramental marriage is the sign.
Contracting a new union, even if it is recognized by civil law, adds to the
gravity of the rupture: the remarried spouse is then in a situation of public
and permanent adultery: If a husband, separated from his wife, approaches
another woman, he is an adulterer because he makes that woman commit adultery,
and the woman who lives with him is an adulteress, because she has drawn
another's husband to herself.
2385 Divorce is immoral also
because it introduces disorder into the family and into society. This
disorder brings grave harm to the deserted spouse, to children traumatized by
the separation of their parents and often torn between them, and because of its
contagious effect which makes it truly a plague on society.
2386 It can happen that one
of the spouses is the innocent victim of a divorce decreed by civil law; this
spouse therefore has not contravened the moral law. There is a considerable
difference between a spouse who has sincerely tried to be faithful to the
sacrament of marriage and is unjustly abandoned, and one who through his own
grave fault destroys a canonically valid marriage.
49
Godly Character Traits[2]
During
this New Year let us take up the nature of God by reflecting on these traits
that make us a model for our children and our sisters and brothers in Christ.
Today reflect on:
Tolerance vs. Prejudice
Acceptance of others as unique expressions of specific character qualities in varying degrees of maturity (Philippians 2:2)
2218
The fourth commandment reminds grown
children of their responsibilities toward their parents. As much as they
can, they must give them material and moral support in old age and in times of
illness, loneliness, or distress. Jesus recalls this duty of gratitude.
For the Lord honored the father above the children, and he
confirmed the right of the mother over her sons. Whoever honors his father
atones for sins, and whoever glorifies his mother is like one who lays up
treasure. Whoever honors his father will be gladdened by his own children, and
when he prays he will be heard. Whoever glorifies his father will have long
life, and whoever obeys the Lord will refresh his mother.
O son, help your father in his old age, and do not grieve
him as long as he lives; even if he is lacking in understanding, show
forbearance; in all your strength do not despise him. . . . Whoever
forsakes his father is like a blasphemer, and whoever angers his mother is
cursed by the Lord.
Daily
Devotions
·
Please pray for me and this ministry
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