John, Chapter 5,
Verse 45
Do
not think that I will accuse you before the Father: the one who will accuse you
is Moses, in whom you have placed your hope.
For the last couple of months, we have focused on peace and love which is the natural fruit of being “Not Afraid”. Those who
are not afraid place their faith and hope in Christ. For the next month we will
focus on faith and hope to help us sustain our courage in the Lord—Be Not
Afraid.
Amoris Lætitia[2] Passionate love, violence and manipulation (153-157)
On
the basis of this positive vision of sexuality, we can approach the entire
subject with a healthy realism. It is, after all, a fact that sex often becomes
depersonalized and unhealthy; as a result, “it becomes the occasion and
instrument for self-assertion and the selfish satisfaction of personal desires
and instincts.” In our own day, sexuality risks being poisoned by the mentality
of “use and discard.” The body of the other is often viewed as an object to be used as long as it offers
satisfaction, and rejected once it is no longer appealing. Can we really ignore or overlook the continuing forms of domination,
arrogance, abuse, sexual perversion and violence that are the product of a
warped understanding of sexuality? Can we look aside when the dignity of others
and our human vocation to love thus end up being less important than an obscure
need to “find oneself”? We also know that, within marriage itself, sex can
become a source of suffering and manipulation. Hence it must be clearly reaffirmed that “a conjugal act imposed on one’s
spouse without regard to his or her condition, or personal and reasonable
wishes in the matter, is no true act of love, and therefore offends the moral
order in its particular application to the intimate relationship of husband and
wife.” The acts proper to the sexual union of husband and wife correspond to
the nature of sexuality as willed by God when they take place in “a manner
which is truly human.” Saint Paul insists: “Let no one transgress and wrong his
brother or sister in this matter” (1 Th 4:6). Even though Paul was writing in
the context of a patriarchal culture in which women were considered completely
subordinate to men, he nonetheless taught that sex must involve communication between the spouses: he brings up the
possibility of postponing sexual relations for a period, but “by agreement” (1
Cor 7:5). Saint John Paul II very subtly warned that a couple can be
“threatened by insatiability.” In other words, while called to an increasingly
profound union, they can risk effacing their differences and the rightful
distance between the two. For each possesses his or her own proper and
inalienable dignity. When reciprocal belonging turns into domination, “the
structure of communion in interpersonal relations is essentially changed.” It
is part of the mentality of domination that those who dominate end up negating
their own dignity. Ultimately, they no longer “identify themselves subjectively
with their own body,” because they take away its deepest meaning. They end up
using sex as form of escapism and renounce the beauty of conjugal union. Every
form of sexual submission must be
clearly rejected. This includes all improper interpretations of the passage in
the Letter to the Ephesians where Paul tells women to “be subject to your
husbands” (Eph 5:22). This passage mirrors the cultural categories of the time,
but our concern is not with its cultural matrix but with the revealed message
that it conveys. As Saint John Paul II wisely observed: “Love excludes every
kind of subjection whereby the wife might become a servant or a slave of the
husband… The community or unity which they should establish through marriage is
constituted by a reciprocal donation of self, which is also a mutual
subjection.” Hence Paul goes on to say that “husbands should love their wives
as their own bodies” (Eph 5:28). The biblical text is actually concerned with
encouraging everyone to overcome a complacent individualism and to be
constantly mindful of others: “Be subject to one another” (Eph 5:21). In
marriage, this reciprocal “submission” takes on a special meaning, and is seen
as a freely chosen mutual belonging marked by fidelity, respect and care.
Sexuality is inseparably at the service of this conjugal friendship, for it is
meant to aid the fulfillment of the other. All the same, the rejection of
distortions of sexuality and eroticism should never lead us to a disparagement
or neglect of sexuality and eros in themselves. The ideal of marriage cannot be
seen purely as generous donation and self-sacrifice, where each spouse renounces
all personal needs and seeks only the other’s good without concern for personal
satisfaction. We need to remember
that authentic love also needs to be
able to receive the other, to accept one’s own vulnerability and needs, and to welcome with sincere and
joyful gratitude the physical expressions of love found in a caress, an
embrace, a kiss and sexual union. Benedict XVI stated this very clearly:
“Should man aspire to be pure spirit and to reject the flesh as pertaining to
his animal nature alone, then spirit and body would both lose their dignity.”
For this reason, “man cannot live by obligatory descending love alone. He
cannot always give, he must also
receive. Anyone who wishes to give love must
also receive love as a gift”. Still, we must
never forget that our human equilibrium is fragile; there is a part of us that
resists real human growth, and any moment it can unleash the most primitive and
selfish tendencies.
"Read
these counsels slowly. Pause to meditate on these thoughts. They are things
that I whisper in your ear-confiding them-as a friend, as a brother, as a
father. And they are being heard by God. I won't tell you anything new. I will
only stir your memory, so that some thought will arise and strike you; and so
you will better your life and set out along ways of prayer and of Love. And in
the end you will be a more worthy soul."
There is need for a crusade of manliness and purity to counteract and undo the savage work of those who think that man is a beast. And that crusade is a matter for you.
Daily Devotions
·
Day SEVEN
spiritual warfare
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